I…I’m speechless. I really don’t know what to say. GATRA…out-GATRAed itself. I didn’t think it was possible, and yet this route…defies explanation. Get ready for a crazy ride…

Okay, at first glance, this doesn’t look so bad. It connects Middleborough to Taunton, thus bridging two separate entities of GATRA. That’s good, because the system needs better connectivity. It’s weird that it starts at the Council on Aging, but it still serves downtown, so it’s fine. Now, this route has a higher fare than most other GATRA buses: it’s $2.00 from Middleborough to the Raynham Walmart, and $3.00 to Taunton. Not sure why that is, but okay. Fine.

Wait, now I’m looking at the schedule, and I see it only runs three times per day: 10:00, 12:00, and 2:00 from Middleborough. Hang on, and what’s this…”Operates Monday, Wednesday and Friday”? Oh geez…this is getting worse. But hey, at least on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, anyone can use this nice bus to get from Middleborough to Taunton. Let’s go!

WHAT? No, seriously, WHAT???????? This is a call-in service?!!??!??!? But it’s not a flex route! This is very clearly a fixed route with a fixed schedule that runs on fixed roads!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HECK EVEN IS THIS AEIOGMGEEGMLANCNAELCNAELNAEINGEAGN????????? Okay, okay, okay, it’s my duty as Miles on the MBTA to review the route. Let’s just calm down and give GATRA a call. Oh wait, no, it’s not GATRA, it’s the Middleborough Council on Aging. *breathe*…AOHGAEIOGAEEGMEAGMAEGEGMKL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, let’s call them.

Now, I had forgotten to call them by 1:00 PM the previous business day, so I left them a message at around 10 PM the night before Sam and I were going to ride the route. I assumed it was hopeless, but they actually called me back a little before 9 AM the next day, which was very nice. A pleasant lady answered the phone:

LADY: Hello, is this Miles? You left us a message last night saying you wanted to ride the 12:00 Taunton bus.
ME: Yes, I did, sorry about that.
LADY: It’s okay, we can absolutely get you on that trip.
ME: Awesome, thanks! It’s okay if I bring a guest, right?
LADY: We can accommodate a guest. Just make sure you get to the Council on Aging early – our driver likes to leave right on time.
ME: Will do. Thank you very much!
LADY: You’re welcome. Bye!

I didn’t need to get so worked up about that! That went very well. Cool, so now we’re scheduled to get the trip! I…oh, hang on, my phone’s ringing again.

LADY: Sorry, I just realized you’re not in our system. Could we get some information from you?
ME: Sure.
LADY: Okay, what’s your last name?
ME: Taylor.
LADY: Great. And what’s your date of birth?
Wow, that was quite a jump in privacy level! Maybe they wanted to make sure I was over 18 or something. I gave her the DOB.
LADY: Okay. Now, what is your address?
Address? Why??? How does that affect my bus ride at all? Oh well, don’t question it – I need to take this bus. I told her my address.
LADY: Fantastic. And can I have an emergency contact?
ME: A what?
LADY: An emergency contact. Name and number.
OKAY…THAT’S DRAWING A HUGE LINE. EMERGENCY CONTACT????? THIS IS A PUBLIC TRANSIT SERVICE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT! I DIDN’T REALIZE GATRA WAS A BABYSITTING COMPANY, TOO!!!!!!! WHAT COULD THEY POSSIBLY NEED AN EMERGENCY CONTACT FOR???? IF GRANDMA JUDY GETS A CUT ON HER PINKY FINGER, WILL HER EMERGENCY CONTACT BE WAITING AT THE NEXT STOP WITH A BAND-AID TO SAVE THE DAY????????????????? After giving Sam an incredulous look, I gave her my mother’s name and number. Sam looked (rightfully) confused.
LADY: Okay, great! So, I think that’s it. See you at noon!
ME: Awesome, you too!
LADY: Hang on, you said you were bringing a guest?
ME: Yeah, I am.
LADY: We’re going to need all his info, too.
ME: Sure, just let me scream and bang my head against the wall a few hundred times.

Okay, I didn’t actually say that, but I really wanted to. I passed the phone over to Sam with an expression saying I’m so sorry. I knew Sam got to the emergency contact bit when he had that same incredulous expression I made. Finally, after affirming one more time that we needed to get to the COA early, the lady hung up. After that ordeal…we were ready to ride this bus.

It all began at Trucchi’s…

Having completed our wonderful ride on the Downtown Middleborough Shuttle, we were going to walk from its terminus at Trucchi’s Supermarket to the Middleboro Council on Aging. The most direct route was an hour and fifteen minutes – not bad! Aside from a rather nasty intersection near the supermarket, the first leg of the walk on the residential Anderson Ave was quite pleasant. We turned onto Erica Ave eventually, which was a nice side street.

Google Maps then told us to take a right onto Route 44. This was a totally different beast – it was a wide road with a big median, nothing but woods along it, and a speed limit of 50. It was bordering on highway. “I wonder if walking along a street like this is illegal,” I said. “Wouldn’t it be funny if a cop car came along?”

*Beep beep!* Lo and behold, there was a Middleborough Police car pulling up behind us. A stern police officer came out. “Hi! What are you doing walking along a highway?” “Google Maps told us to walk on here,” we explained. “Okay…where you guys going?” he asked. Oh God, we were going to the Council on Aging. We were two teenagers walking down a highway going to the Middleborough Council on freaking Aging. This would not end well…

“Why are you going to the Council on Aging?” the cop asked. We explained the blog and how we were getting a bus route from there. “Okay. I’m gonna need identification. Please stand to the side of the road and don’t move.” He got our IDs and disappeared into the car. Sam and I were making small talk, but he was in that car for what seemed like forever, and I was sick to my stomach. Were we going to get a ticket? Maybe even get arrested? I’m too young to get a blemish on my permanent record!!!

He came back out and handed the IDs back. “Okay, for future reference, don’t walk down Route 44. I’ll give you a ride to the Council on Aging.” Oh, thank God! We were okay! He let us into the back of the car. My seat was hard and uncomfortable, and there was no handle on black door. Still, my situation was better than Sam’s – he had the same conditions, but he was stuck in a plastic box! We talked for a little bit between the plastic barrier, but we were mostly silent. I was just so thankful we made it out of that situation without any consequences.

As we were running down Plymouth Street, the officer asked when the bus was leaving. “Noon,” we said. “Huh.” he said. “You might‘ve made it.” After just five minutes of driving, we pulled into the Council on Aging. We thanked the officer as he let us out, and we headed towards the front entrance. I was super thankful for the ride, but we were now incredibly early, so we just found a bench outside the building and sat down.

Under normal circumstances, Sam and I would’ve probably paced around the building as we waited, but the police car was just sitting there! I’m not sure if it was because they had nothing to do (Middleborough isn’t exactly an eventful town) or if they were making sure we didn’t do anything sketchy, but it restricted our movement to just the bench. By the time the car left, we had gotten comfortable, so I just reviewed the…uh…”bus stop.”

The only picture I got was the one where Sam was making the weird face…oh well.

It’s funny that the Middleborough Council on Aging had better facilities than some Commuter Rail stations! I mean, the whole thing was sheltered, and there were four lovely benches at which to wait, as well as a wastebasket and some potted plants. There were tons of community flyers too, including one about the Middleborough-Taunton Connection, featuring an ancient GATRA dial-a-ride vehicle. There was one laying over right outside the building, so assuming that would be our bus, I snapped a picture of it.

Seems reasonable enough.

I have to say, the Middleborough COA was a huge dial-a-ride hub! Those minibuses were coming in and out constantly! At one point, a driver went into the COA to drop off the fares he had earned, which were safely stored…clamped to a clipboard. Oh, GATRA…

Eventually, a different kind of vehicle came in – it was just a Middleborough COA van. An old man came out and walked toward the entrance. “You must be my 12:00 out!” he said to us – so he was the driver for the route. “Oh! Is that the bus?” I asked him, pointing to the van. “Yup!” the driver said as he entered the building. Sam and I looked at each other, then looked at the van, then looked back at each other…and started laughing uncontrollably. HOW MUCH CRAZIER COULD THIS DAY GET?????

The…uh…bus?

The driver came back out. “Okay, you guys ready? Buckle up!” he said as he opened the van doors for us. And…yeah, it was basically a van in there. The one key difference was the inclusion of, of course, a jiggly wheelchair lift. Oh boy, who needs proper buses when you can have – literally – a van with a jiggly wheelchair lift in it?! Well…after all that, at least we made it onto the vehicle.

There it is!

Alright, over 1500 words in, and it’s time to actually start the review! We left the COA on Plymouth Street before soon turning onto East Main Street. This was a residential road, but there were also sizeable patches of forest on certain stretches. Also, there was a place selling miniature horses, so if you want one, this is the route to ride!

Totally not sketchy at all!

After crossing the Nemasket River, the houses started to get denser. We turned onto North Main Street, which eventually led us into downtown Middleborough. After going by its boring, bland businesses and its admittedly beautiful town hall, the street became lined with houses again. There was some suburban retail at the intersection with Grove Street, which we were supposed to turn onto, but we just kept on going. Where were we going? I-495! Express section time!!!

I just want to point out that we are currently on the highway in someone’s van. This route can’t get any weirder!

We were only on the highway for a bit, but it was fun while it lasted – we soon took Exit 6 onto the infamous Route 44. This was a really boring road, consisting of bursts of suburban retail, then sections of woods. We passed through sections of Lakeville, Taunton, and Raynham in quick succession, but nothing along Route 44 changed.

At least the Taunton River broke things up a bit.

After crossing Route 24, the suburban businesses were constant. Indeed, there were now a ton of shopping plazas along here, too! We also passed a small clinic that gets its own timepoint, for some reason – if you want to take the bus to “Route 44 Medical Walk-in,” you can! We entered Taunton soon after, coming up along the Taunton River. The road became Dean Street.

Can’t say I’m a big fan of the neighborhood.

There was a mix between houses and offices, although not particularly big ones. Dean Street soon left the river, running along the lovely Church Green. Once it became Main Street, we were in downtown Taunton, running past tons of (mostly boring) businesses. Near the Taunton Green, we turned onto Court Street, which led us past some industrial buildings and a parking lot.

Going around the Green.

We turned onto Washington Street, going over the Mill River. There were some suburban businesses along here as it became Oak Street, and finally, we reached the good ol’ Bloom Terminal. In a van. We pulled into one of the berths, and the driver opened the doors for us. “3 dollars each!” he said as he took out a ziplock bag. I don’t know why he had us pay at the end instead of at the start, but at least the ziplock bag was better than the clipboard from earlier!

That just looks so weird…

GATRA “Route”: Middleborough-Taunton Connection

Ridership: GATRA has no ridership information for this route online, and I can only assume it’s low. I mean…our trip was just us! The woman on the phone did reference a “group” who was getting on at “Dunkin’ Donuts,” so maybe a few other people rode that day. Still, though – I’m very sure that ridership for this route is astronomically low!

Pros: NO NO NO NO NO

Cons: WHERE TO START? MAYBE I SHOULD JUST DO A BULLETED LIST…

• IT ONLY RUNS MONDAY, WEDNESDAY, AND FRIDAY
• IT ONLY HAS THREE TRIPS PER DAY
• THE ROUTE IS VARIABLE – CLEARLY, IT CHANGES BASED ON WHERE PEOPLE ARE GOING
• THE ROUTE MAP PUTS THE COA IN THE WRONG PLACE
• ON THE GATRA WEBSITE, THE ROUTE IS CALLED THE “MIDDLEBOROUGH-TAUNTON CONNECTION” IN ONE PLACE AND THE “MIDDLEBOROUGH/TAUNTON CONNECTOR” IN ANOTHER
• AT $3.00, THE FARE IS THREE TIMES THE NORMAL GATRA FARE
• IT WAS COLLECTED IN A ZIPLOCK BAG AT THE END OF THE ROUTE
• THE “BUS” WAS LITERALLY JUST A VAN
• THE DRIVER GETS PAID TO DO NOTHING IF NO ONE CALLS IN
• HECK, THE ROUTE HAS A TON OF LAYOVER TIME ANYWAY, SO IT’S STILL A LOT OF PAYING THE DRIVER TO DO NOTHING EVEN IF PEOPLE DO RIDE
• IN ORDER TO RIDE IT, YOU HAVE TO CALL THE MIDDLEBOROUGH COA BY 1 PM THE PREVIOUS BUSINESS DAY (SO YOU GOTTA CALL BY FRIDAY IF YOU’RE RIDING MONDAY)
• WHEN DOING SAID CALL, YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM YOUR NAME, DATE OF BIRTH, ADDRESS, AND THE NAME AND PHONE NUMBER OF AN EMERGENCY CONTACT
• THIS IS LITERALLY JUST A FIXED BUS ROUTE, WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED TO RIDE?
• EMERGENCY CONTACT, I MEAN, REALLY??????? EGJAIGAEEGAIGGAE!!!!

I think we’ve done it: we’ve hit peak GATRA. This route, the Downtown Middleborough Shuttle, seems to do absolutely everything wrong. For example, it only serves Middleborough Station four times per day: 11:05, 12:50, 3:05, and 4:45. They time with trains, but why these specific times that don’t benefit commuters in any way? Huh, I dunno! It’s honestly one of the less confusing mysteries of this crazy route…

Here it comes!

Because the bus didn’t time with our train, Sam and I walked to Grove Street to flag down the bus. “Where ya goin’?” the driver asked as he used his minibus lever to open the door. “We’re going to Trucchi’s.” I said. “Oh, okay,” the driver said. “Just know that it takes a while to get there, I gotta go to a bunch of places first.” Oh yeah…he wasn’t lying.

Some houses.

We dropped our coins into the non-electronic farebox to get to the dollar fare (because come on, coins are the only true way to pay for a GATRA bus) and sat down. One of the two passengers on board, an old lady with sunglasses, turned around to look at us. “Thank goodness for the bus,” she said through a wide toothy smile. “Yup,” Sam said. Now she was just staring at us. Grinning. Sizing us up. The other passenger, an old man, turned around. “The local school must be nearby,” he said in an aggressive growl. What had we gotten ourselves into? The wheelchair lift jiggled.

A deviation, of course!

We deviated into an ugly, dead shopping center: Middleborough Crossing. The old sunglasses lady finally stopped grinning at us to let the driver know she wanted to get off at Ocean State Job Lot. The old man got out first, and she made her way off the bus mumbling about what she was planning on buying. Awesome, now we had some time alone!

Not too many cars parked here today.

But alas, we would get more passengers as we pulled up to Hannaford. The first was a typical GATRA old lady. The second was a man with big, bulging eyes and a mask over his nose and mouth. He stepped onto the bus with two grocery bags, then he gave us a long, hard stare with those beady eyes. We could hear his deep breaths behind the bright blue hospital mask. At some point he decided we were suitably scared, so he got off the bus to get his other two bags.

Leaving the shopping center.

Hang on, did either of those passengers pay? No, no, they absolutely didn’t! And now that I think about it, the farebox was empty when Sam and I put our money in, so sunglasses lady and growl man didn’t pay either! Do people just not pay for this route? Gosh, I wonder what the GATRA accountants say about this money-losing mess!

An apartment development behind a laundromat.

We went over the Nemasket River after returning to Grove Street, then it was mostly suburban businesses on the other side. We passed the Middleborough High School (perhaps the “local school” growl man was referring to?), then a few housing developments. Turning onto Wood Street, we then made our way into Middlebury Arms, an apartment development.

Coming into Middlebury Arms.

The road ended with a dead-end. So, we did what any normal bus route would do: reverse into a driveway and three point turn our way back out! Coming back onto Wood Street, we were about seven minutes early, so we pulled over into the route’s…uh…layover point? I guess that’s the most professional name I can give the patch of dirt next to the road we were sitting in.

Reverse, reverse!

A person in a passing car knew the driver, so they both opened their windows and had a screaming conversation, blocking the traffic on Wood Street. Once the woman left, the driver turned on the radio, which was playing an incomprehensible ad for the South Shore Gutter Monkeys. It was parodying something, but it made absolutely no sense! And then…”Call 911! No, just kidding, call [actual number].” Geez, come on, that’s not okay!

An auto shop.

Finally, we pulled out of the dirt patch and headed back the way we came on Grove Street. We went over the Nemasket River again and passed Middleborough Crossing without deviating. Also, the actual radio station came on here: “Welcome to the feel-good station, playing hits from when you were growing up!” Uh-oh…cue the absolute cheesiest 70s and 80s music you’ve ever heard. “Lonely Boy,” by Andrew Gold, anyone?

Okay, that’s an awesome town hall!

There were some suburban businesses at Main Street, onto which we turned. It was residential for a bit, but we soon arrived at Middleborough Town Hall, marking the beginning of downtown Middleborough…except we turned onto Webster Street before reaching the thick of things, because we had a deviation to do!

Heading onto Webster Street.

There were dense houses along here, and they continued as we turned onto Benton Street. We then turned onto Spencer Street, taking us down a hill to the Riverview Apartments. Using a roundabout within the development to turn around, we pulled over, and…oh, we’re three minutes early, so we have to wait? Sigh…

One of the apartments, with regular houses in the background.

We finally pulled out of there, making our way onto Wareham Street. As it became Center Street, it took us into downtown Middleborough proper, which was a very…lifeless place. Everything about it was bland and dead. We turned onto Oak Street next, going by houses and a small hospital.

Woooooo! Downtown Middleborough!!

We turned onto Maple Ave, then Maddigan Way, which was an apartment development. As we made our way down to Sproat Street, we entered a different apartment development, Nemasket Apartments. From there, we made our way onto Forest Street, although the route was supposed to return on Oak Street. Mask guy got off along here, and it took forever because he had to get his four bags out of the bus, while also staring at us the whole time. I was overjoyed to see him go, and I took solace in the fact that I would never have to be stared at by him ever again.

Coming off of Forest Street.

We turned onto Center Street, and for the first time on the route, we were actually going somewhere without deviating! The road went over some freight and Commuter Rail train tracks, then we were in a mostly residential area. It was all houses, aside from Middleborough’s Central Cemetery. As the road made a southerly curve, it became Anderson Ave.

Finally, I was getting deviation withdrawal!

We turned onto North Grove Street in order to serve…gosh, I don’t even know. The street just had sparse houses along it. We did a sharp turn around onto Grove Street proper, and there were a few…landscaping businesses there. Is that what GATRA’s trying to serve with this jog? There was a section of mostly woods after that, mixed in with a few suburban businesses, including two vape shops, apparently!

A very flashy diner.

Near a State Police station, we passed a scheduled timepoint: Acorn Hill. I guess this is what we were serving? Doesn’t look like much to me! There were some suburban businesses as we went through an intersection with Anderson Ave, and then we pulled into Trucchi’s. Wait, hang on, we were supposed to go past it to deviate to Southeast Health Center! We’re not doing that, huh? Alright, then…last stop, Trucchi’s.

Give us a wave!

GATRA Route: Downtown Middleborough Shuttle

Ridership: This route averages 46 riders per weekday, and based on what we saw, not one of them is under 65! The route gets about 5 passengers per hour, and since the route runs every hour, that means every 5 passengers per round trip. Pretty bad…

Pros: Well, I’ll say this: people are at least using it. It serves a purpose within the community. Sort of. And the every hour, weekdays only schedule is fine.

Cons: It’s sooooooo bad! It does almost everything wrong: it serves the Commuter Rail station at random times, the time given between timepoints changes on certain trips, the route is insanely deviatory, it doesn’t go the route it’s supposed to go, it costs $15.22 per passenger to run, it’s early everywhere so it has to wait, it has a 3.3% farebox recovery ratio, but it’s probably more like 0% because the passengers don’t pay (and are really creepy), and the route gets just 5 passengers per hour! WHAT DOES THIS THING DO RIGHT???

Nearby and Noteworthy: I have to say, Trucchi’s was the most GATRA supermarket I’ve ever been in. Just like on the bus, there was no one, worker or customer, under 65 in there!

Final Verdict: 1/10
There aren’t too many cases where I would say this, but come on – just replace this thing with dial-a-ride service. Everyone who rides it fits the requirements to ride GATRA’s dial-a-ride buses, and they’d probably get where they’re going a heck of a lot faster than on this route! The one problem is that dial-a-ride fares are $1.25 instead of a dollar, and, presumably, people would actually have to pay it. But I guess if GATRA wants to keep this free loop running around, that’s up to them.

Latest MBTA News: Service Updates
If you think this route was crazy, just wait until our next GATRA route tomorrow. It blows this one out of the water!!!