Hastings is a very special station…so special that I think it doesn’t deserve a normal review. In writing this post, I stuck the caps lock button on and essentially turned myself insane. Hastings does have a lot to rant about, after all. Maybe this was a bad decision. Maybe the post won’t be entertaining. But I just thought I’d give this stop the scolding it deserves, rational or not. So with that, let’s get into the worst station on the whole Commuter Rail!
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| THE “PARKING” “LOT”. |
OH, WELL, LOOKIT THAT. HASTINGS THOUGHT TO GIVE US PARKING. NOW, ISN’T THAT NICE? IT USED TO BE COMPLETELY UNPAVED, BUT NOW IT’S GOT GRAVEL INSTEAD! WHAT AN IMPROVEMENT! THEY SAY IT HAS SPACE FOR 6 CARS, BUT I’M NOT SURE HOW THEY FIGURED THAT OUT, SINCE THERE ARE NO SPACES – IT’S JUST A PATCH OF FREAKING GRAVEL!
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| LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO HASTINGS. |
ALRIGHT, DO YOU WANT TO SEE HASTINGS’S PLATFORM? WELL, WONDER NO LONGER, FOR THOU ART LOOKINGETH RIGHTETH AT IT! IT’S. JUST. GRAVEL! AND IT’S NOT EVEN, LIKE, NICE TINY GRAVEL THAT’S WALKABLE! NOOOOOO, HASTINGS HAS BIG ROCKS TO MAKE YOUR WAITING EXPERIENCE THE BEST ONE POSSIBLE! BLUMPITY BLUMPITY BLUMP BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY
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| OH WOW CHECK OUT DAT SAVAGE INFORMATION BOI |
WELL, AT LEAST HASTINGS HAS A NICE SCHEDULE POSTED. HEY, QUICK QUESTION, IF SOMEONE WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF STICKING A SCHEDULE UP HERE, WHY DIDN’T THEY PUT A FREAKING STATION SIGN UP TOO?? BUT OKAY, I DIGRESS, DEAR FRIENDS. AT LEAST THEY HAVE A SCHEDULE…OH WAIT, IT’S FROM 2014. EVERYTHING HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED SINCE THEN! WHAT THE HECK??
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| AND I THINK TO MYSELFFFFFF WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLDLELEDLLDLEDLDL |
WELL, NOW WHAT’S THIS OTHER SHEET HANGIN’ UP ON DAT SIGNAL BOX? OH, OKAY, IT TALKS ABOUT HOW ARRIVAL TIMES HAVE CHANGED SLIGHTLY WITH THE…2016 schedules? Okay, no. NO! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE CAME HERE, PUT UP THE THING ABOUT THE ARRIVAL TIMES IN 2016, BUT DIDN’T BOTHER TO CHANGE THE OLD SCHEDULE! IT’S SIMPLY NOT POSSIBLE!
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| THANKS FOR THE WARNING, MOM |
THIS. THIS SIGN IS THE ONLY INDICATION THAT HASTINGS IS A TRAIN STATION. AS YOU CAN SEE, IT GIVES SIMPLY AN ENCYCLOPEDIC LEVEL OF INFORMATION, DOESN’T IT? WELL, WITH THAT, I GUESS THIS REVIEW OF HASTINGS IS OVER, SO…wait…what’s that next to the sign?
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| … |
Okay…so someone came here with a sharpie…and made that…someone went to the effort of coming here…and writing information in tiny letters that no one will ever see. They…they even drew a little sign around “Hastings” and gave the MBTA website and everything! So…this is the signage. THIS IS THE ONLY INDICATION THAT PEOPLE ARE WAITING AT THE HASTINGS COMMUTER RAIL STATION ON THE FITCHBURG LINE IN WESTON, MASSACHURSETSTES! HASTINGS? MORE LIKE HATE-STINGS, BECAUSE THIS STATION IS THE WORST!
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| GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN |
STATION: HASTINGS
RIDERSHIP: GEEZ, A WHOLE 44 PEOPLE ARE SUBJECT TO BOARDING AT THIS PLACE EVERY DAY? I AM SO SORRY.
PROS: THE ONLY PRO I CAN THINK OF IS THAT AT LEAST THIS PLACE GETS ONLY GETS FIVE TRAINS IN EACH DIRECTION, WEEKDAYS ONLY! SEEMS TO MAKE SENSE BASED ON THE LOW RIDERSHIP…
CONS: MY GOSH, THIS WHOLE STATION IS A CON! HASTINGS IS JUST A BLACK HOLE OF CONS! OR MAYBE JUST A FLAT-OUT BLACK HOLE, SINCE IT BASICALLY HAS NOTHING! NO PLATFORM, NO SIGNAGE, BARELY ANY PARKING, AND THE ONLY INDICATION OF THE STATION NAME IS WRITTEN IN SHARPIE!
NEARBY AND NOTEWORTHY: YES! THERE IS A FIELD NEARBY, COMPLETE WITH SOCCER GOALS AND A BASKETBALL COURT! MAYBE YOU CAN USE IT TO WORK OFF YOUR ANGER AT HOW BAD HASTINGS IS!
FINAL VERDICT: 0/10
HASTINGS DOESN’T DESERVE ANY KIND OF POSITIVE INTEGER FOR A SCORE! IT IS NOTHING. LITERALLY NOTHING. PUT A SIGN HERE, AT LEAST! OH MY GOSH, THIS REVIEW MADE ME GO CRAZY…
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Stay tuned for more normal reviews in the future! And let us never speak of this place again.
Wow. and I thought no station could beat a 1/10 (such as Auburndale). Miles, I think you may have broken the blog by giving a zero to a station.
Hastings broke my MIND
This is hysterical and had me cracking up the whole time, both your description and pointing out the truly sad aspects of the station itself! Completely lost it at the Sharpie'd on "sign"!!
Thank you so much!
Now do Plimptonville
Settle down, Kilometres
great! thanks!
So you travel really a lot and I suppose that
data rooms topic is really interesting for you.
Regards, Rick
Hastings and Silver Hill are two completely worthless stops. Get rid of these. All it does is slow down the Fitchburg line. Kendall Green is sufficient enough.
And they were both closed in 2021, permanently.
I like hastings, its a very mistical station. if my god damn dad would let me, i would go there at night. i wanna be scared! i like ominous stations like hastings
Hastings or Chestnut Hill Ave? What is better? (NOte one of the platforms is PAINT)
At least the paint one gets a train every few minutes!
But the paint one is dangerous! At least if you fall backwards at gravel galore you fall into bushes. At paint you are doomed.
So I spent thevpthe month since I found this entry in your blog looking for the Sharpie'd sign, because I just can't figure out this station. And in the couple years since you reviewed it, it's faded a lot. I finally spotted it.
What a ridiculous station. Train can't even get up to speed between it and Kendall Green.
Fun fact, if you look this station up on Google Maps, it’s listed as being a location for the (now defunct) retail chain of the same name.
Loved the review; I got a good laugh from how over-the-top it was.
I don’t know if you heard but it got completely, permanently closed this month
HAH! THIS AWFUL PLACE IS NOW PERMANENTLY CLOSED!!!!!! GOOD RIDDANCE!!!! And yes, your all-caps rant about Hate-stings was completely justified…..