It’s been a tough year. When this whole pandemic business began, I thought “Wow, I’ll really be able to catch up on my backlog! I’ll have SO much time to write!” Well…I’ve definitely had a lot of time. The writing didn’t really happen.
Like many folks this year, I’ve found myself with a bad case of pandemic brain. I’ve been worse at getting back to friends, I’ve found myself getting more distracted, and it’s been really hard to sit down and write a long, detailed blog post about a bus route that a lot of people rely on. I think I’ve come to the conclusion that despite using work as an excuse (although I really have been quite busy on that front too), my real issue is that my brain has just been mushy, and forming cohesive sentences that will be seen by a bunch of people is not something it’s often capable of – that’s certainly been reflective in my post frequency this past year. Instead, I usually find myself socializing, watching YouTube videos, or playing games in my spare time (have you heard of NIMBY Rails? it’s SO good).
It’s hard to grapple with this feeling that I’m neglecting the blog. After all, I attribute so much of where I am now to its success, including job opportunities and even the school I’m at. Maybe that’s short-selling myself – I mean, I wrote the thing – but it’s also hard not to view the blog’s success as a lucky break for which I was just along for the ride. Either way, to neglect it feels like I’m neglecting my child. In writing this blog, I’ve tried to strike a balance between being extremely detail-oriented and thorough in my reviews, while also keeping things funny and entertaining. The fear of not being able to strike that balance makes it even harder to get writing inspiration.
Honestly, something I’ve been a lot more enthusiastic about is making more videos. I know I haven’t delivered on that front either, but I have lots of ideas that I’m excited about. I’ve even got one video that’s filmed and in the beginning stages of editing! Making videos is a totally different experience from blogging: I don’t have to worry about penning the exact right words to critique a bus route without offending those who ride it, and instead it’s just me being (hopefully) entertaining and doing something fun, often with friends.
I know this may feel like a change. I’ve been struggling to get into a blog-writing groove for practically the entire pandemic, though, and it feels cathartic to finally realize what’s been wrong and get it down on paper. I really want to make content in some form, and if that happens to be primarily videos for now, I think that’s better than trying to force myself to do something I’m not enthusiastic about and can’t give justice to. I can’t give a definite timeline on when print posts will come back (heck, writing this has made me itch a little bit to write a real review) or how often I’ll end up doing videos, but I really appreciate each and every one of you for sticking with me, even when I’ve been quiet. Writing this blog has been a journey (I literally just realized that we hit the eight-year mark in January), and while I don’t want this journey to end, it might look different moving forward – but I’m excited about all the possibilities for the future!